Repackaging the Old Stuffs

Call it a makeover, a facelift, a repacking or a renovation, but you can definitely see the changes.

• The first one is the template. It's more aesthetically appealing now.
  
• The second change is the blog title. I've been noticing that I've been doing all my blogging in the wee hours when I cannot sleep. So, I decided for a more apt title. Well, there's also a pun on the title - I'm leaving it for you to discover it.
  

But rest assured, my faithful readers, the quality (or the lack of it) is still the same. I promise to keep you to entertain with all the creativity and sarcasm that comes to an Insomnia's mind. Do drop in your comments.

Au Revoir,
B(t)IJ Chabs

The Best things in Life are for Free - Almost

Insomnia can be really insightful. I was thinking about the best moments of my life and it didn't involved things like having a conversation with a beautiful lady in a luxury cruise. (Not surprising because I never had that experience). They were actually free. I'm listing my top ten best moments of my life so far...

1. Watching the sunset across the lake, with your gf.
2. The "Finally, mera code chal gaya" experience.
3. Getting a good news of a much awaited academic result.
4. Playing basketball in the rain with your friend (yh, of the opposite sex).
5. Snoozing happily in the back seat of the car while your other friends are watching the sunrise on top of Nandi hills.
   
6. Snuggling up with an exciting novel on a rainy sunday afternoon.
7. Trying out a new dish, your own creation, even though you've to throw it afterwards.
8. Finally finding a small tea shop selling ciggarettes at 3 am after you realized u've run out of stock at 2 am.
9. The feel of the cold night air while riding your bike on the deserted highway at 80 kmph.
10. Watching a really senti movie alone in the room and tears running down your face (and later laughing at your friend because he/she admitted he/she was crying at the movie).

So far, so good. But since i still continued to have insomnia, my cynical persona came out and started asking really insightful questions whether those things were actually free. These were the questions he asked with respect to the above points...

1. Well, how much did you have to spend on the fares to come to meet her to make the event possible? And the std calls, gifts, etc, etc?
2. They say time is money and how much money (read time) have you wasted before your code works?
3. How much did you have to spend for all the treats? (You never realized you've so many friends and well-wishers until this moment).
4. How many coffees and chocolates did you had to buy for her before she finally agreed to play basketball in the rain with you?
5. Ok, it seems you've forgotten the expenses on those beers, the dinner at the dhaba and the petrol cost.
6. How much did the novel cost? And the bean bag you're so comfortably settling into?
7. Hmmm, with sky rocketing gas and vegetable prices, you can afford to do that?
8. Again, petrol for driving for 1 hour? You're not caught for jumping the red light? Or forgetting the DL?
   
9. Same as above.
10. You actually cried? Ha ha ha.

I hate this cynical B&*%ard and I hate him even more because he's right.

Au Revoir,
Bij Chabs

Day 2, Slot 1, 11th hour Signed out

Finally my ordeal is over. I got placed in the last company to come in Slot 1, IBM. I'm won't reveal my feelings right now but let it suffice to say that it's a mixed feeling. There's this relief on the one hand, I don't have to undergo the whole ordeal for two (or more) days. Then, let's just say it's not my dream company but mind you, it doesn't mean that I'm disappointed. I got short-listed in only 4 companies, so there's nothing much I could have done. It's a bad feeling knowing that you're not even getting a chance to fight. Of course, people who got rejects after rejects after being short-listed in most of the companies will beg to differ. I haven't gone through their experience, so I left it to your discretion. A few people are lucky – they got signed out really early from the company of their choice. Some were happy to realize they finally made it to a company of their choice. Many are happy to have got into their preferred area. Some are disappointed they didn't get into their preferred area and many are still keeping their fingers crossed.

As for me, well, when I have nothing else to say, I say, "Everything happens for the best".

Well, I'm looking forward to the whole summer experience. I hope it turns out to be a good experience with a good project, something from which I can actually learn. I'll be going with an open mind and try to extract as much value-addition and fun as possible. Wish me all the best.

And to all the guys, who made it, congratulations.

And to all the guys, who are still to make it, remember u're an XLer, nothing's gonna stop you, it's only a matter of hours. Best of luck, guys.

Now, I'm going to sleep in the happy knowledge that I can ignore those irritating early morning wake up calls.

[Here I'd like to mention that for any details regarding the whole process and the actual numbers, please contact the official placecom cell. Forget it if you think I'm gonna reveal anything right now or ever.]

What the hell! Should I care what the blog title is?

3 bottles of beer and I'm drunk, sorry, I'm Drunk with a capital D. Please don't judge about my limit cos I've not had a drink for a long time. Tonight is a wet night organized by OMAXI, something of a stress-buster before the SIP starts. Talking about stress, yeah, I'm sure stress out. It's a tough thing thinking where u'll get ur SIP call from, the company u like or not. People are serious about the whole thing, forming study groups, reading up on sector analysis, just for those two months where companies make you work for peanuts (it's all relative). I've been talking to seniors and they all made it sound easy. Maybe. I really don't know.

An Ode by a BM - I * nerd

If love is Microeconomics, then you are my preferred bundle and there is no indifference curve
If love is Financial Accounting, then my heart is debit and your heart is credit
If love is Quantitative Technique, P(Me) + P(You) = 1
If love is Organizational Behavior, Job Satisfaction in your heart's organization is 100%
If love is Production Management, my decoupling point was the instant I saw you
If love is Marketing, you're my whole environment, n there's no competition
If love is PMIR... Thank God, love is not PMIR
And your CGPA to me is A+

Amen

*For the uninitiated,
BM: Business Management (An XLRI's Programme for MBA)
BM-I: Ist Term of the BM programme.
PMIR: Personnel Management and Industrial Relationship (HR Subject)
CGPA: Cumulative Grade Point Average (Performance Index)
I'm no nerd but yh, I'm quite crazy....

Back on my Birthday

It's my birthday !!!
Thanks a lot for all wishes!!!

Today's Agenda....

1. 00:00 : Got Bumps from exam weary, highly tensed, frustrated ppl. Thank u guys.
2. 00:05: Cakes all over my face
3. 00:10: Waited for someone spl to wish me. Didn't.
4. 00:20: Still waiting for someone spl to wish me. Still didn't. Sarted feeling blue.
5. 00:30: Went to have tea at night canteeen.
6: 00:45: Back at rooom feeling blue (What a way to start).
7. o1:00: Realized nothing'll happen in the wishing department, opened my accounts notes and started orkutting.
8. 02:00: Accounts notes are still opened and I'm still orkutting. (It's chick to wish ppl in orkut now and it's so convenient, u just need to go to the home page to know whose bday it is).
9. 02:05: Finally backed to accounts.
10. 02:06: Night Canteen again.
11. 02:40: Came back. Saw gtalk mail from friend.
12. 02:42: Put on some music to drive the blue feelings away. And started chatting with friend.
13. 04:02: Finally stopped chatting. (After a long time, from somewhere in US)
14. 04:03: Opened my notes again and started studying.
15: 04:20: Felt sleepy. So, started reading e-book.
16. 05:00: Went to sleep.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

17. 07:58: Finally, got the call.....
18. 08:43: Writing this post.

19. 14:30: My Basic Financial Accounting(BFA) Quiz

XLRI... Here I Come

Mar 30th, 2007

Finally, the long awaited result came out. And I got through. Am really glad I converted the only call I got. Proved once again I can achieve something I really put my heart into.

I got over my Chicken Pox too.

XLRI PI Experience

8th March, 2007
The Ashok, Chanakyapuri, New Delhi

3.15 p.m. - Reached the venue. I was wearing a black suit with a light blue shirt and a blue tie. Forgive my immodesty but I've to admit I looked pretty smart. There were 3 guys (no girls). All of them were looking very smart (Is there something about suits that makes a guy look smart? Or is it that only smart people have come to give their interviews?). As soon as I reached, I finished 2 glasses of water, that calmed me down a bit. Started talking with the guys. Don't remember much of the conversations except I remembered telling one of them that talking helps in reducing the nervousness and started making remarks which makes other laugh. Well, that's one thing about me, sometimes, I can make strangers at ease with themselves (only sometimes, when I'm in the mood, I'm a moody person). The only thing is - who's going to put me at ease. Anyway, after about 20 mins, the 2 glasses of water started to take effect and I'd to go to the loo. God, the doors to the loo were looking similar to the normal room doors and I almost went inside the one for the opposite sex. Thank God, noone was there to saw me. I came out, chat for another 10 mins and then one of the professor called my name around 3.50 p.m.

3.50 p.m.
There were 3 members in the interview panel.
Left: Mr. Ashish K. Pani, Information Systems
Centre: Mr. Paul Fernandes, Ethics
Right: Mr. Vijayraghavan, Information Systems, Operations Management

PF was smiling, VR has a slight smile, AP was neutral. All three were very cordial and friendly.

Me: May I come in Sir? (Forgot to wish them Good Afternoon but I guess that's fine)
All 3 nods
PF: Have a seat
Me: Thank you (Sat down and adjusted the height of the chair)

PF pushed a sheet to me for me to sign

VR asked for my certificates

VJ: How do you pronounce your surname?
Me: (Looking up) Cha-bung-bam

PF: Where are you from?
Me: Manipur (and not Imphal, why?)

PF: So, your father is a proffesor in the Manipur University?
Me: Yes, Sir, he's the Vice Chancellor right now (feeling proud)

PF: And your mom?
Me: She's the principal of a college (didn't elaborate)

PF: Both your parents are in academics, why not you? Don't you like to be a academician?
Me: (Smiling) No, Sir, it's nothing like that. Our parents have given us the freedom to choose our own professions and I choose computer science engineering because I was fascinated by computers when I was a child.

AK: How many are you?
Me: (waiting for this question) We're 3 brothers, I'm the youngest. My eldest brother is in Kolkata and is an officer in the IRS (should have expanded it to mean Indian Revenue Service and not Indian Railway Service). My second brother is working in Microsoft, Hyderabad as Program Manager. He was also an XL alumnus. He passed out in 2005. His name is Sameer... Sameer Singh Chabungbam

AK or VR: The football player?
Me: I don't know if he played football, Sir. (I asked TaSameer afterwards, he didn't play football).
They were still looking at me...
Told them my bro's 2005 passout, BM.

PF: So, u’re staying in Bangalore. Why did you choose Delhi as an Interview center? Chennai is much nearer to Delhi.
Me: I studied for 2 years in Delhi, did my +2 from Army Public School, which is at Dhaula Kuan. I wanted to visit Delhi again and right now is the perfect time to visit Delhi as Delhi is quite pleasant and beautiful this time of the year.

PF: U studied in Delhi. How do you compare Delhi and Manipur?
Me: (Got confused as to compare which parameter... cultural, education, weather, etc.) Sir, I'll talk about education as that was what I came to Delhi for. The first thing I find is that parents takes more active interest in their child's education. For e.g., there is PTA. This is not the case in Manipur. Secondly, I found that children in Delhi schools can speak English very well. I spoke to children who are studying in Class 3 - 4, they spoke English better than me. Out there in Manipur, it's only in the later classes that students pick up English. (Thought for a while). Beyond these two points, the rest is pretty much similar.

(Silent pause. I hate silent pauses. Although I can out-silent anyone, I'm expected to fill in the void here.)
Me: The other parameters are the same. Students in Manipur are as competitive as in Delhi. They are as hard-working and as diligent too.
PF or AK or VR: And?

Me: And that's it, Sir
(Later, I realized I could have talked about frequent bandhs, strike, not condcutive study environment, blah, blah.)

VR: What do you do in Bangalore? Studying? (Most probably deliberate, they have my profile form)
Me: (Smiling) No, Sir. I'm working... in as a software engineer
VR: What do you do in your company?
Me: I'm a software engineer. (silent pause)... a developer (silent pause, i out-silent them. Well, what do they actually want to know? what's a developer?)

VR: Ok, what do you find is different between Delhi and Bangalore?
(Hesitated a little. Was thinking where to start, from weather? or infrastructure? or job opportunity? VR seemed to read my mind...)
VR: Culturally
Me: Well, both are metropolitan cities so both cities have got mixed cultures. People came from all over India to work in Bangalore, and they bring their own cultures. And Delhi is the national capital, and people from all over the country came here to work as well as to study so I don't think Delhi has its own distinct culture. However, I found one thing that people in Bangalore are more orthodox than in Delhi. For example, pubs and disco are closed at 11 pm. (Stupid, that's me... can't you give a better example)...
VR: Here, they are closed at 7 pm. (All three laughed, I smiled... Didn't argue)

PF: What are your plans?
Me: (Gave my Why MBA answer) wanting to work in strategic unit of a business so as to achieve the organization's goal, blah, blah

PF: So, what will your strategy be to make manipur the foremost state amongts the seven sisters?
Me: Can you give me a few mins to think, Sir
PF: Please...

(Thought for sometime, about 1 min)
Me: Talked about 4 points mainly
1) Insurgency - Solving insurgency problem. Military solution not working, a political solution needed. Hampering development, blah, blah
2) Education - Mainly primary and secondary education. Wants to bring it in par with the rest of the country. Don't want the excuse by a student saying that since "I came from Manipur, I cannot get into IIT" (decided to forego school dropouts thing)
3) Tourism: Manipur is really beautiful, lots of scope for tourism. Wants to promote Manipur as tourist's destination like Kerala promotes it's tourism with "God's own country" line. Needs to develop infrastructure and roads for this.
4)Border Trade: Talked about Moreh. More transparent trading between Myanmar and India.

PF: (Summarized what I just said)
Me: Yes, Sir
VR: What about sports? (Why am I forgetting about sports?)
Me: That's also one area I would like to develop. Manipur is doing really well in sports. Came second in the National games. Heard that Andaman n Nicobar got their first medal... a bronze medal in kayaking and it was by a Manipuri. (Later, I thought I should have mentioned something like Manipur doing very well in the national arena, wants to develop sports to bring it in par with international arena.)
AK: Cultural? Manipuri Dance
Me: Yes, that's also quite famous. Talked a bit about Ras Lila, Pung Cholom (Could definitely answer better)

VR: Ok, tell me 2 things that make you happy, 2 things that make you sad and 2 things that make you angry
Me: Happy
1)Books, talking about books
2)Love, feeling of being loved
Sad
1) Breaking trust
2)Can't think up
Angry
1)Hypocrites
2)Sloppy work, people not doing what they are capable of doing. Mentioned having problem at work because of this.

PF or VR or AK: How did you handle it?
Me: With patience. Talks to the person. Tells him it wasn't only affecting him, it was affecting the whole team. Talking helps a lot.

PF: Are you good at Maths?
Me: Yes, and bragged about my achievements in Maths
PF: But there is no Maths in Computer Sc. so, why did you take Comp Sc?
Me: Although there is no pure maths after 4th sem, the application is still there. After all, what does Maths teach us? To think analytically and logically. While writing a program, u have to think logically, like how data will move from one module to another, blah blah

VR: How will your friends describe you?
Me: The first thing they'll say about me is that I'm intelligent, though I don't know why (All laughed)
They'll also say I'm smart and a little bit arrogant (thought I'll put in some weak points)
VR: Lovely, friendly?
Me: Oh, I'm quite friendly.
AK: Polite, quiet?
Me: I don't think they'll say I'm quiet although that's the first impression people usually have about me
PF: So, u mean u're someone else at college and someone else outside?
Me: Well, sir, I'm an introvert and it takes time for me to open up, so I'm usually quiet and polite the first time I meet somebody. But once I opened up...
PF: you are unstoppable (they all laughed though I didn't get the joke. I just smiled)
PF: From which one of your parent do you think u've inherited your intorvert nature?
Me: I don't know (An embarassed smile)
PF: Which one of your parent is more introvert?
Me: My dad is more introvert

PF: That's it.
VR: Any questions you want to ask us?
Me: Yes, Sir. There is actually one. I've heard XL has got little international connection. I talked to many alumni and they all confirmed this. Why this is so?
(They told me about XL opening up new campuses in Dubai and Singapore. Students exchange programme available. International connection really picking up in the last 2 years. PF asked me where I wanted to go)
Me: Not as such but will be good to have students exchange programme. Students who went there can share experiences with others, blah blah
They thank me for this.

That's it$. It's done.

One of my best poems

Here I lay, thinking quietly
For me, what the coming days hold?
Will they be bright and sunny?
Or filled with days dark and cold?

I cannot say for sure,
What is my destiny?
The future is so obscure..
So big yet so tiny.

But I can say this with confidence,
I can face all the weathers of life.
Only a thing I ask without any pretense,
Hold my hand and walk by my side.

Then a destiny we'll have,
That will be the envy of many.
After all, what do the hearts of people crave?
Something that will make them happy.

With you always by my side awhile,
I have no doubts, no fear.
For I can always look at your smile
Before I close my eyes, my dear.

Poetically yours,
Bij Chabs

[Can't think up of a good title. Any suggestion?]

A 20 mins poem by an insomaniac

The ship was sinking, and no land was in sight
Everywhere around me, people were drowning and screaming
A sense of hopelessness, I could see no light
And out in the blue, I could see the end coming

Then I saw a most beautiful sight
She was there calm and serene without a shimmer of fear
She filled me with a hope so bright
And I no longer feared that has to come far or near

Poetically yours,
Bij Chabs

Red Sky at Night

This kind of love is hard to find
I never got to you by being kind
If I'm the one to throw you overboard
At least I showed you how to swim for shore

When you're down is where you'll know yourself
That if you drown there's nothing else
When you're lost you need to find yourself
Then you'll find out that there's no-one else

-David Gilmour

IIMA 's Placement holiday

IIMA has done it again. First the Laloo Yadav's class and now this. One more innovative process has come from the IIMA stable. This time, India's most admired B-school has declared placement holiday for 2 years. What it means is that a graduate passing out in 2007 may opt out of the placement process in 2007 and instead, participate in the placement process in 2008 or 2009. This is done mainly to promote entrepreneurship among it's students. This has mitigated the risk associated with entrepreneurship and as a consequence, more and more no. of students may and will decide to go solo. This is really good and I hope other B-schools (and even IITs) follow this example.

Why this is so good? Just supposing if noone ever bothered to take risk in the Silicon Valley, then there'll be no Google, Hewlett-Packard, Microsoft, etc. Again, ask why the American software companies are product companies and why Indian software companies are services companies? Right, the answer is entrepreneurship. But why in America and not in India? It's not because they're more intelligent than us or they're more resourceful. These parameters are same. It's because they're not averse to risk taking like we Indians do. But why are they not averse to risk taking? Because of the prevailing atmosphere out there. First, sociological factor... America has a very high standard of living, so they can take more risk. In India, this is not so. If you want to start ur own business in India, the major opposition will be from ur well-wishers (family, friends, etc.) Because a person without a secured job in India is considered to have a very high liability. Second, it is the support that they receive - from the faculty, industry, etc... I don't really know but I don't think that's the scenario in India, what with all the Red Tapism, skepticisms and all.

But things are changing in India. India is in an unprecedent path of growth. Never before has the condition more favorable for entrepreneurship in India. Every sector is booming in the Indian economy, so there's a high probability that a very good idea will succeed now than before. And IIMA has taken that initiative to provide the support to it's young entrepreneurs. Kudos to IIMA.

On the flip side (everything has a flip side), some people may argue that this step will make the young entrepreneurs take things lightly and not concentrate enough in their venture, and so, their ventures will more likely fail. I say this is bullshit. Noone will throw away 2 yr's package (will amount to about Rs. 20 lakhs, going by their average salary) if they're not serious. If they somehow fail in their venture, they can always fall back on their old alma mater. In fact this removes the fear from their mind and they can work with more positive attitudes, and belieive me, I wouldn't be surprised if none of the students who decided to go solo this year come back for placement the next year and the year after.

Time to wind up. First time, I've written on a serious note. Must be the cycle of the moon, after all, I'm a Cancerian. Finishing with this beautiful quote...

"If you want to feed a person for a day, give him a fish but if you want to feed him for the rest of his life, teach him how to fish. If you don't know how to fish but wants him to learn how to fish on his own, send him to IIMA."

Au Revoir,
Bij Chabs

2 days before D-Day - Restrospect and Introspect

March 6th, 2006 17:05:
[Did you know the Indian GDP is around $4 Trillions? Or that the FM has introduced FBTs on ESOPs? Or that this year Indian IT companies will come under MAT (it's supposed to be tax holiday for Indian IT companies till 2009)? Or that the inflation is above 6% already and it's growing and the Government is worried? Or that I think the Americans are playing some sort of neo-Imperialism on the Middle-East countries (Iran-Iraq issue)? Or that the Indian IT revenue for FY2006 is around 30b USD excluding hardware revenue, of which about 23b is exports? Or that I'm boring you with all these facts which u can find out by just googling? ...]

It's 2 days now to D-Day. It's hard to believe that after 48 hours, it's gonna be over. "Will I, won't I?". I guess there's no use in answering this question. My motto is "Live Right". It means whatever u do, do it right. So, that's what I'm going to do. Do it right and hope for the best.

For the uninitiated, 2 days from now is my XL interview. It's my only call this year because of the CAT verbal section fiasco (don't really want to comment on this. So, don't ask).

The feeling right now is that I'm confident to say I'm confident. I've prepared what I think I should prepare. Now, from tomorrow, all I'm gonna do this relax. For that, I've bought MAD's bathroom companion and I'm gonna laugh my head off. (Yh, yh, I know I'm "mad" for liking MAD magazines. In fact, I'm thinking of getting a certification from the MAD guys themselves. They'll readily give if I just mentioned I'm a fan of their magazine). Ok, coming back to the thread... The whole journey of preparing for MBA is rewarding in itself. I've really gone into introspection about myself and my career, have become more aware, have taken an interest in both business and social issues. The biggest gain is that I've got a clearer goal in sight, I've something to focus on and for me, having a goal is very necessary, I just don't want to be a drifter. I've also become a better thinker, have started becoming opinionated on things which would have bored me a few years back. In short, I've become more mature than what I was a year back. (Does it also mean I've become more snobbish? No way.... "Rover, wanderer, nomad, vagabond.. Call me what you will")

So, finally, it's all going to boil down to this 20-30 mins on 8th March, 2007. Many people, who've known me, who've "interviewed" me, who've assessed me, say I've got a good chance of getting through. But will the panel members have the same opinion. That's the Rs. 4.4 crore question (if you're wondering why Rs. 4.4 crore, then I'm afraid to say u're somewhat slow in getting this "joke". See, 1 dollar = Rs. 44 (approx.). So, a million dollar question is Rs. 44 Million question or Rs. 4.4 Crore question. And Why am I explaining this? Am I trying to prove I'm smarter than you? See, an introspection about my own self). I certainly will try to make that impression on them, that I'm good, that all of us are going to gain if I get through.

Lastly, I hope I'll be writing another blog with good news soon.

Signing off for now, I've still to read up on China's IT industry.

Till next time,
Bij Chabs

The Dalhousie Trip - A Photographic Account

What: A collection of photographs from my trip to Dalhousie

Where: Dalhousie, Himachal Pradesh, India (near Himachal-Jammu border)

When: 26th Jan, 2007 to 28th Jan, 2007

How: Train from Delhi to Pathankot (Punjab), then by road to Dalhousie. It took 2 hrs on an Innova (Which role are u playing today?). Taxi service is available just beside the railway station. Fare depends on the vehicle type and the number of pessangers. It's in the range of Rs. 1000/--Rs. 3000/-.

Why: You ask a lot of questions...

Photo # 1 - The Gang

From Left: Daapak, Gautam (Mao-Tse-Tung), James, Anthony (Tony), Sanjukta (Buty), Johney (Tumtum). I was the clicker.

Photo # 2 - A Bird Eye's View of the valley below

This was taken from the Hotel Lawn. I think the bluish tinge is because I set the shutter speed to high. It's not intentional. But whatever, it turned out really beautiful.

Photo # 3 - A close-up of the snow-capped mountain peak

Wished I'd a better camera when I was taking this photo. I like the shadow of the clouds on the white snow.

Photo # 4 - A Natural X-Mas tree

Just put in the decorations and voila, a living X-mas Tree.

Photo # 5 - DaAnthony

I included this photo not so much for the handsome foreground as that of the beautiful background. Because of the bright background, the EV has to be increased to ensure a brighter foreground.

Photo # 6 - Rhodondendron - The Tree Rose

These wild rhodondendrons were found in abundance along the mountain roads. They were a beauty to look at.

Photo # 7 - Khajjiar - Switzerland of India

It is said that there's a team from Switzerland who looks out for places on Earth which looks like Switzerland. And they have planted their flag on Khajjiar, 22 kms from Dalhousie. The place is much more beautiful than this photograph.

Photo # 8 - Hi, It's me

No comments!!!

And Finally, some assorted pics...

With 2 Army personnels

A cloudy sky

Some Church

Future Plans

Oh, Gosh! She's cute...

Johney and the horse

The Gang - Part Duex

Daredevils

Just another egoistical snap

And finally, the girl who missed this all!!!

*************************************************************************************

Au Revoir,

Bij

St. Valentine’s Day - Reminisces

 Today is Valentine’s Day - a day to celebrate the love you shared with your loved ones. Although you can wish any loved one - parents, siblings, friends, your boss etc - in India, it is mainly used to express your love to your boyfriend or girlfriend. Gifts are given and can range from flowers plucked stealthily from the neighbour’s garden to diamond necklaces worth your two month’s salary. On this day, some get extra courage to propose1, others have contests as to who’ll receive the most V-Day cards/gifts, yet still others yearn longingly and hope for even a scrap of paper hoping someone will acknowledge they exist on this earth. But I’m not going to talk about any of these people. I’m going to talk about someone who has always treated V-Day with caution and a sense of dread - me.

For me, V-Day has always remained elusive. It’s a time where the investment is not worth the return. The thing is when I’d a girlfriend, I’d have started saving my pocket-money from two months back for that special gift on this special day to that special person. Yet, nothing extra-ordinary happened on this day. I didn’t make any new girlfriend, didn’t receive my first kiss, didn’t … ok, let’s leave it at that. And when I didn’t have a girlfriend, it was too embarrassing to say I don’t have anyone to celebrate it with. Let me recap my past V-day experiences.

1983-1995: Imphal - Still a juvenile, where the only awareness of the female species is that they have longer hairs (and cried a lot more, too).

1996: Imphal - Somewhat aware but video games still were a more attractive option than girls.

1997: Imphal - Immensely infatuated with a girl. Vague recollection. Probably spent the whole day daydreaming and thinking up of ways as to how to propose1 to that girl.

1998: Imphal - My first real V-Day. Feigned illness, didn’t go to school and went for a date (with the girl I’d a crush on last year). Nothing happened other than touching her hand.

1999: Imphal - Matric exam just round the corner but that didn’t stopped me from going on a date. Asked for a kiss - refused.

2000: Delhi - Called up long distance to my sweetheart. Spent 200 bucks (quite a lot during those days, I was a student, for God’s sake), not to mention the gift. (Have to check with my ex how much I spent on her, which I’m definitely not going to do).

2001: Delhi - Much similar to previous year. 12th board exam after two weeks.

2002: Bhopal - Now this one was nice. Hmm hmm hmm. I’m not gonna reveal the juicy details here, so forget it.

2003: Delhi - Had a fight just before V-Day. Spent the day hurt at Delhi at my bro’s place. Weather was cold and chilly, suited my mood perfectly.

2004: Imphal - Girlfriend had exam, opposed quite fiercely (and emotionally) to my coming to her place. Went home instead and called her up. Later, I realized she didn’t want me to come because she wanted to spend the day with someone else.

2005: Imphal - Had broken up with the aforementioned girlfriend by now. Thought I was in love with two girls (quite wrongly). Stood up a date with a third girl because some powerful people have got anti-Valentine day sentiments in the city. First time, I let my head ruled over my heart. (Later I came to know she also didn’t come, but that’s not the point).

2006: Bangalore - Had broken up with my new girlfriend a few days before. So, spent this day passably alone (my manager and colleagues don’t count as company). It’s another matter that we patched up a few days after.

2007: Bangalore -No date today, so spending the day writing this blog.

So, as you can see, V-Day didn’t turn out to be very special to me. Most of the special days (first sight, first holding hand, first kiss, etc) happened on non-festive days. Well, I gather that it’s not the day which makes an event special but it’s the event which makes a day special. But still being the rank-sentimentalist that I’m, I still dream of flowers, chocolates, candle-lights, music, sensuous kisses, and a satisfying breakfast the day after with the person I love. I know it’ll come true someday - just hoping I hadn’t turn 50 before it happens.

Cheers and dedicated to all the lovers in this world. Hope you have a special time. Happy Valentine’s day.

Au Revoir,
Bij

1. Propose, in this context, means declaring your love and usually doesn’t involve getting your knees dirty, diamond rings, and committing oneself to a lifelong sentence.

Appraisals ... An euphemism for the pink slip

I got my appraisal result today. How do I feel? Well, let's put it this way. If I was satisfied, I'd be giving treats for the new hike right now and not sitting at office venting out my frustration writing this blog.

Rating-wise, it was as expected-a strong performance but the hike - ha ha ha, a paltry 10%. Not bad, some might say, but they are the people who already earns 10 lpa. And tomorrow is Valentine's day. You can give my organization kudos for playing spoil-sport to romantic moods.

Considering I worked my ass off last year, had a bout of stress, analyzed data in my dreams, and put in all those extra efforts to meet those unbelievable deadlines, I expected at least a decent raise. But no, siree, all these are forgotten when appraisal time comes. And the funny thing is my manager told me (when I said I'm certainly not happy with the raise) that there'll be another appraisal in 6 months for "high performers". Wondering how many ppl bought that, I certainly didn't. Being the ever naive, gullible fresher that I was last year, I believed when they told me not to worry about salary, that I should just concentrate on my work, and I'll be rewarded appropriately. Sure, I'm rewarded - with a joke.

The standard IT industry hike, as calculated by a reputed business magazine, is 15% but I got 10 %. Now I've been thinking, what if all these is a conspiracy of the HR ppl and the Finance ppl to lay people off? Hmmm, quite possible. Since, this way, it won't come in the news but it will be all over the news if they announced they are going to lay off 1000 ppl. Cos right now, I certainly want to pack my bag and look elsewhere and I bet many ppl are feeling the same. It's like a nice way of saying, "thanks for earning $100000 for us, now just f*** off!!!" - an euphemism for a pink slip.

But whatever, I see that my days in this organization are numbered. I've about 25 days of leaves left, so it means about 25 + 30 days more. I cannot lower my standards to meet their 10%, after all. (Hey, this is a nice line to tell the HR in my exit interview.)

I hope you have a better appraisal result. It'll make me believe in humanity and just rewards.

Till next time,
Bij

All good things come back again...

Hello, hello, hello... Is there anybody out there?

I'm back from a sabbatical of nearly one year... I intend to blog regularly now. Since I know I suck at keeping diaries, this blog will serve as an outlet for my feelings. Don't worry, I won't write about what I had for dinner, et al (punch intended). I'll keep it witty and honest. So anybody out there, just drop a comment. I'll write as long as someone listens to me...

Cheers,
Bij